I Have A Confession To Make - I Want To Become A Chain Guy

So this is something I’m not proud about. Something I wish I didn’t have to blog. But somewhere along the line I decided that I want to be a chain guy. What’s a chain guy? Well it’s exactly what it sounds like. Somebody who wears a chain all the time

Now it all started innocently enough. After the Patriots beat Seattle in the Super Bowl I was given a Pats medallion. I promised to wear it every time the Pats got back to the Super Bowl. Well since the Patriots basically go to the Superbowl every single year I end up wearing it every single year. Somewhere along the line I decided that I looked cool with it on and sort of wanted to wear it all the time. Not just because it was a Pats medallion, but because I looked awesome in it.

Well fast forward to this years Final Four. I was at a bar and some random Stoolie came up to me and gave me a meat cleaver gold necklace. He was a jewelry designer and wanted a picture with me wearing it. So I took the picture because I’m a humanitarian and then wore it the rest of the night and then wore it again in Atlantic City sort of as a joke to look like a guido. But once again I kinda thought it looked cool. And then it hit me. I was becoming a chain guy.

So now the question becomes how does a 42 year old white non Italian non athlete pull off being a chain guy? I can’t be wearing meat cleavers. And I can’t just wear a chain with nothing on it like I’m going to The Jersey shore. The only think I can think is a Star of David but I’m not sure if it’s bad karma to wear a religious symbol just for style? I feel like you’re asking for trouble doing that. So as you can see I’m at a chains crossroads. I know I like the way chains look but I don’t know what to get that won’t make me look like a giant asshole.